Update on Mom and Myself! ✌🤟🤘

Mom has exactly a week and a half of radiation left. She is doing so well with it! This honestly surprises me just because I always expect the worst but also I’m just so happy. I may partially be so happy because I really didn’t expect this to go so easily. Mom uses Aloe Vera gel, unscented just straight up Aloe, and she really has no burns or redness so far. She does experience some fatigue and some short lived headaches occasionally after her treatment but it’s nothing severe. Nothing that can be compared to chemotherapy. Of course, like I said, mom’s got a week and a half left so I will see if she remains feeling as good as she does. I will update again after she completes her radiation.

I am doing well. For the past week and off and on earlier, I have been driving mom to her radiation treatments. I have no problem with this, I enjoy being up early and I also enjoy the feeling I get when I know I’m successfully helping mom. I’ve been going through a depression lately, which makes everything so much harder. I find myself drifting off into bad thoughts about random events from the past and also things that bother me but really are not a big deal. I catch myself doing this while reading and it bothers me a lot. I will be staring at the page and yet, on the inside, I am somewhere completely different and also somewhere with a very negative feeling. This scares me. It scares me because of my fear of becoming embittered. I do not want this negativity to overcome me and turn me into a person that I do not want to be.

I will say that mom and I are helping each other equally. Not only does it help me to help her, but my mom is a great person to talk to and we are both able to empathize with one another right now. This empathy, a very real understanding of our separate and yet similar issues, is also surprising to me. It’s a very pleasant surprise and I really appreciate this gift we have been given at this time to have the ability to not just care for, but to compliment our care with such complete understanding. It is a wonderful feeling.

I hope anyone else who is getting through Chemotherapy and radiation has a helper and also, as a person struggling with Bipolar 1 disorder, I understand how lucky I am to have someone like my mom and the rest of my family to simply be there.

More updates coming soon. Thanks for reading! I wish the best for everyone out there. No matter what it is your going through, please hold on to hope.


A Beginning…

Thank you for visiting my first Blog Post.

Over the past year, my relationship with my mother has grown immensely. This is not only because of being able to spend more time together but also because of the good and bad circumstances we have been experiencing together.

My mother was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in February of 2019. The following April, mom underwent a successful Lumpectomy on her right Breast and she was prepared to continue work as a Human Resources Manager while undergoing Radiation. However, plans changed.

Mom found out in the following week that her recurrency score came back high and she would have to go through chemotherapy to make sure her cancer did not return. This was unexpected and due to the fact that mom does not have a Spleen, this changed everything about mom’s life. Mom’s doctor made it clear that this would not only be a very difficult time for mom but that she would not be able to continue to work mainly because her risk for infection would be so high.

Mom is turning 62 this year and was able to take a leave of absence from work until she could start Unemployment. Although this worked out so well, it still left mom very depressed.

At this point, we have gotten through the hardest of times together and we will soon be celebrating mom’s last chemotherapy treatment on August the 26th. As far as we know, mom will be starting radiation about 6 weeks after that date.

These past months have not just been about mom going through chemotherapy, although that has been a major struggle. I have been diagnosed with Bipolar 1 with severe depression and anxiety since the age of 26. I am now 35. This time period mom and I have been spending together has not only given us an opportunity to create a better relationship with each other in general, but has given me the opportunity to learn so much about my strengths and weaknesses and how helping another person, my mom, only makes me feel stronger.

We have been able to relate on so many issues together, especially depression. We may have depression for different reasons, but there are so many similarities. This is not something that made either of us weaker but instead, through shared feelings, has made us so much stronger.

This blog is not going to be specifically about Cancer, Chemotherapy or Mental Illness, although I will surely touch on these topics frequently. What I really want to talk about is our shared love of reading and the ways we relate to one another as only a mother and daughter can. Honestly, when mom started this journey, I told her we were going to laugh our way through this, and that is what we have done.

I hope you find the time to follow my blog and get to know us. I also hope I will be able to recommend some great books along the way. Right now, mom is reading one of my favorites, Prodigal Summer by Barbara Kingsolver, while I am journeying through Brandon Sanderson’s Cosmere. I have so far been able to read Mistborn, Warbreaker, and The Way of Kings, and am currently reading Elantris before I go farther with Words of Radiance in his Stormlight Archives. The fantasy genre is my favorite, especially when times get a little tough and I need a break from reality. I feel like Brandon Sanderson is the perfect author for me right now because he has a way of keeping everything positive.

Thank you for reading and please keep up with us so I can share my mom’s thoughts on her current read and also my thoughts on Elantris.