Filling the Emptiness

For myself, so much of depression is feeling a sense of emptiness, as if there is a literal void inside of me. I picture it as a dark space that is so black it sucks in any light that tries to reach inside and turns that light to nothing. Depression isnt always about actually feeling certain emotions, like sadness for example. Sometimes it is lacking the emotions, lacking the ability to care, to give a damn, that is what really becomes a struggle.

I have been working with my therapist on different ideas to cope with depression. One of the main ones is exercise. This isnt a new idea for anyone that is struggling. It is well known that exercise increases endorphins and makes body and mind feel better. However, this kind of backfired for me. I walked almost everyday for 3 weeks for about 30 minutes at a time, but on the end of the third week I broke my ankle! I was dumbfounded, I mean who breaks their ankle by simply walking and tripping over their own feet? Me, this girl. Now its months later and I’m mostly healed, so I’m doing yoga. Yoga with Adrienne on YouTube. I’m enjoying it, but seriously, I’m waiting to see how I’m going to break something else.

I also began doing a gratitude journal. I love journaling and I keep one by me at all times so this isnt a stretch. What I do is when I am feeling down, or bored or lonely, I write down 5 things I’m grateful for. But the rule is that they have to be different things each time. I cant just say the same 5 things over and over. And, surprisingly, this can be hard sometimes. I really have to think about new things and what I appreciate. But, honestly, it works great for getting my head to start thinking in a more positive way, or at least stop the negative thought processes that hound me sometimes.

Today I’m doing pretty well. I’m feeling content with where I’m at right now. At least at this exact moment. Now, an hour from now, I could be feeling completely different. I’m hoping not, though.

One step at a time.

“Violently in love” with Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen, A Review

Mr. and Mrs. Bennet are the parents of five girls that have grown into their different stages of adulthood. Mrs. Bennet sees her role in life as a matchmaker, especially considering her eldest and most beautiful daughter, Jane. When Mr. Bingly and company comes to town, the gossip begins and Jane and Bingly are at the center of it. However, this is not their story. Mr. Darcy, a friend of Bingly’s, creates quite a stir with his prideful nature. Even going so far as to comment on our Heroine, Elizabeth, as not being a particular beauty (which of course she overhears and this creates the start to one of the greatest romances ever written)

So this story begins with characters literally acting out the title, with pride and prejudice. You see, the Bennet family is not known for greatness, quality or for even being financially well off as many of the other characters, Darcy and Bingly included, are. Mrs. Bennet is a tad irrational and possibly a bit excitable and talks about things she really doesn’t quite have all the knowledge of to be a good judge. And then… Then.. There’s Lydia, the youngest Bennet sister at age sixteen who makes a habit of disgracefully flirting with the military men in the area… And … Well… She’s just not that bright? Can I say that? Yeah, I can. This young woman does not exhibit good decision making skills in the least. And all of this plus more combined, makes for a lot of judgement against the Bennet family.

So all these characters with all their differences are mixed together almost at once in the beginning and this creates an incredibly entertaining combination resulting in many amazing conversations. I think that’s what I loved about this book so much, just reading the way the characters conversed with each other. They are great at civilly condemning one another, its so well said that even their rude comments can seem like a form of flattery.

I think everyone should read this book at least once, or just give it a try. Jane Austen was ahead of her time. This is a story that if put in today’s world, would seem incredibly relevant.

Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!!!

Calamity, Book Three of the Reckoners, A Review

After the wild ending of the second book, Firefight, David Charleston finds himself being the leader of the group he has always held in such high esteem, the Reckoners. In this last book of the series, David and company make it to Ildithia, former Atlanta, which has a very surreal manner of maintaining itself under Epic rule.

David still believes that an Epic can return from the darkness and evil that is caused by embracing their powers. He wants to save them, especially one high Epic in particular. This somewhat creates a moral saying that no matter how bad a person can get, they can always come back if given the right opportunities.

I loved this action packed ending to a great series. I also loved that the bad metaphors continued throughout the book and kept me smiling. Brandon Sanderson is a pro at creating intense stories and situations, but still having sentimental elements that I felt really connected me to the characters.

Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!!

Firefight, Book Two of The Reckoners, A Review

The first book took place in what used to be Chicago, now known as Newcago. However, in the sequel, Firefight, David gets to discover a new city and learn about a different way of life in what is left of NYC, also known as New Babylon or Babilar.

In New Babylon, David (also known as Steelslayer), has the opportunity to meet a new group of Reckoners and learn how they cope with their local Epics. He also gets to see how a different population survives. The New Babylonians are incredibly laid back and follow the belief that they should party while they can.

David is also still very much in love with Megan and its really interesting to watch that develop throughout this sequel. He still, unfortunately, really struggles with his metaphors and similes. Often creating such a bad allusion that I couldn’t help but laugh out loud.

This book had me constantly questioning who I could trust. Are the Epics all bad? Or is there still a chance to turn them around and back into decent human beings? I really liked this book better than the first of the series, Steelheart. Firefight simply is more interesting and seems to be more mature in its content. This series is evolving into something truly unique and yet still has that awesome Brandon Sanderson style.

I highly recommend this series! Next up is Calamity, the third and final book of The Reckoners Trilogy. Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!

Steelheart, Book One of the Reckoners, by Brandon Sanderson, A Review

David Charleston loses his father at a young age when one of the most powerful Epics attacks the city of Chicago. Chicago becomes Newcago, but the name is not the only change. Most of the city is changed to steel by its tyrannical ruler, Steelheart, who uses other Epics powers to also keep the city in constant night and full of fear.

Later, at age 18, David finds his chance to become one of The Reckoners, an underground group of talented people that fight against the Epics. This finally gives him the opportunity he’s been dreaming of for the past 10 years, to kill Steelheart. However, David learns so much in this process, perhaps even that friendship and love are more important than vengeance.

This was such a fun book to read and I can’t wait to continue my Reckoners journey with Firefight. Steelheart is full of non-stop action and plot twists that made this an exciting page-turner.

Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!!

The Ten Thousand Doors of January by Alix E. Harrow, A Review

It is the beginning of the twentieth century and the world is changing, and so is the life of our heroine, January Scaller.

At the age of seven, January finds a door. For a small moment, she has a life changing experience in which this simple door becomes a portal to another world. January may not know it yet, but this is the beginning of her whole world changing. She tries her hardest to be “the good girl” and fit in to her proper surroundings but she had always been an “in between thing” and eventually, she embraces that part of herself.

Join January on a beautiful and magical adventure. This debut novel has just as much gorgeous fantasy storytelling as it does real world commentary that I believe, is good for all of us to hear.

Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!!

The Starless Sea by Erin Morgenstern, A Review

Wow. Wow. Wow.

Wow.

I reread The Night Circus by Erin Morgenstern around Christmas, and once again it just blew me away. Then I (Finally) had THIS book in my hands. Hello, The Starless Sea, I have been waiting on you sense 2011. And I was not let down!

The magic is back, this lyrical prose that Morgenstern uses in her storytelling overpowered me again and left me weak for more. I want more of her beautiful words. These images she creates are majestic and so enthralling that I really felt this book was describing one of my dreamscapes.

This is a book about books. About seeking and about finding. Join Zachary Ezra Rawlins as he leaves the safety of school and libraries, to travel into Manhattan and begin to live out his own personal story. There are many doors to be opened in life, and there are some to close forever. But Zachary Ezra Rawlins is in good company (especially the cats and cocoa and cupcakes).

I did not want this book to end.  Which is sadly rare for me. Please, Erin Morgenstern, do not make me wait so long for another taste. Your writing creates poetic pictures that inspire me to really see the world around me, so I can maybe… Just maybe, catch glimpses of magic.

Thanks for reading my review and happy reading!!